Date : Sunday, February 01, 2009
Time : 2:27:00 pm
Title : intricacies

Some things are hard to fathom, some are difficult to gauge. Our r/s went into the doldrums some time quite recently, perhaps there were too much disagreements and misunderstandings. Somehow, things weren't right some weeks ago, the bond became unstable & some hopes just wrecked. As days passed, I see the reverse side of whats going on. Though uncertain of what caused the sudden change in behaviours and attitudes (there were fluctuations), I know my conscience is pretty clear. When I say 'pretty clear', I mean, I do have flaws on how I handle things too. I know I'm in the wrong sometimes, maybe its my attitude like what most people said, but no one is perfect.

I know my (some) actions or words that comes out from me caused uncontentment which has resulted in quite a number of upset individuals to write it in their blogs. Come to think of it, sometimes it is based on how people choose to interpret things & how well they really understand us.

Perhaps some of the things I do that I think is right may be perceive as a 'offence'/'crime' towards you. But you must know that different people are different and every individual has different approaches to life. Its a bit disappointing that you choose to have a different mindset. Why should I think that I'm always in the wrong & should bear the blame. WHAT IN THIS WORLD HAVE I DONE WRONG? When did I go wrong? As long as I know my conscience, theres no valid reason I should be in the guilt for most things.

I've understood many parables since JC; Life is a journey. We gain some people along the way, we lose some too. Some people just had to end the journey earlier & leave us alone. Some things are just not worth to be pursued. Sometimes, I think I deserve better. But there's no point persisting.

However, there are some special people in my life which I will never ever forget, no matter what happpens between us & how we lose each other down the road, go missing & then eventually lose contact. Those people have impacted my life so greatly, how could I not remember them. ^^ I do not deny the fact that shit happens at junctures, but then we can still keep the good memories. I promise some people will always have a special spot in my heart.

I'm not a Saint, but I'm not on the other extreme too. Whatever I do, I've done my best and at the end of the day, it takes two hands to clap. If it doesn't work out, then too bad. Theres so much more to life & its just some people's loss if they choose to give up on certain relationships.