Date : Friday, August 14, 2009
Time : 10:55:00 pm
Title : Moments of solitude..

Recently, I came to realise that Promotional Exams are around the corner. I need to buck up. Everyone is so busy trying to keep themselves afloat in the JC ocean. The Year 2's will be having their Prelims this coming Monday, seeing how hard everyone has been working, the fact that I could have been in JC2 this year dawned upon me once again. The many 'if only' in my mind continues to stay there at the back of my head and these 'if only's emerge once in awhile. The JC2s are on full blast in study mode now, they've got 2 rounds of Prelims exams. Seeing the muggers around the school made me felt some awakening emotions.

Many a time I wish I got promoted to JC2 sound and safely last year. Now I'm one year behind my peers who I've known from my original batch. After this year, people of my age would have graduated, some would be busy defending the country, some working and some preparing for the University term. I would be 'left behind' in terms of academic level, as so to speak. I now recognise how much I miss them and will miss them. 'We seldom think of what we have, but always think of what we miss' indeed holds true. Not that I entirely dread my current position, but I always do think of the possibilities and paths that would be open to my life if I'm taking my A Levels this year. Talk about pining across the time lane... Nostalgia.. Suddenly I see my future self, one year from now battling with the 'A' war, while my friends would have moved on to somewhere else in life.

I consciously notice I still keep in touch with some JC2 friends on a certain basis.. Sometimes they look for me or we just stop and quick chat if we chance upon each other. I visualise that there are many avenues for friendships to grown, if not for time and lifestyle constraints, plus our different routines. Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? I agree much..

Exams are a crucial point in JC, we know our priorities.... it seems that everyone has less time to socialise and foster bonds. When the time comes, it may just be too late because people move on.

Some may think its alright to spend an extra year in JC. I used to think of it that way too, however in the long run I see both sides of the spectrum. It seems to me that the (retaining) downsides weigh more than the advantages. I won't elaborate on this... but I do wish I studied harder last year and didn't have to spend another year.... If I have a good grounding in academic last year I would be graduating in the same year as my peers already. I don't know how others feel, different people have different feelings, but ask someone who is spending an extra year in JC, I believe they do harbour some little thoughts inside them too. I, foresee my JC2 life! Suck. Let me clear year 2009 first before strategising for the many other aspects in life. The route just gets tougher as we grow older.

Everyone sees how you seem, however only some know who you are. In life, we make people happy, we also make people unhappy.. there will always be people who fail to see eye to eye with us, or the other way round. That's expected, because we can't please every person that cross our lives... If we could please every single person, there would be so much contradictions and we would have to go to many troubles... Just be yourself, possess your own character. I mean, person A can think/say this about me, person B can think/say that about me, but only I myself know myself best and what I do. I know I live for myself, I am me and I'm definitely not born to please everyone (who can?). Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison.

I will ignore those haters because I won't stoop low to their level... it shows I'm levels higher than them and I've got character!

You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..



I can't stop myself from thinking gloomily, but I can make negative things into positive things if I think optimistically.

Anyway, both happy and gloomy things have their own implications. Gloomy things can worsen, stay the same or improve, happy things can become better, or just vanish in a blink of time... you'll never know when they will just fade and vanish. I will grab hold of every moment starting from now.


I need to consider exploring my options again, redefine my goals and discover my true inner emotions. Can't let my head dictate me always. Screw the Sub passes, many unproductive + unmeaningful weekends went by, I should make my plans really work! Damn the sinful activities...

The faint horror: 'TGIF' is not applicable on all Fridays.

The good news... we have a weekend to look forward to, minus the tutorials to complete and revision to be done! Oh well at least theres a break from school. This is called 'looking on the bright side'.